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Chalou101

the Introvert

My MMDI Personality 

I – Introvert

N – Intuition

T -Thinking

P – Perception

And

I – Introvert

N – Intuition

F – Feeling 

P – Perception
Summary:

“Your unique personality MMDI personality code is NGTG (November-Golf-Tango-Golf). Your closest personality (stereo)types are INTP and INFP. Your most preferred leadership style is as a leadership theorist.

Why are there two personality types listed – INTP and INFP?

Your personality is complex and unique. The psychologist who first created 1 type theory (C.G. Jung) linked the types to stereotypes. He said they were points of reference, like landmarks on a map, that you can use to discover where your individual personality lies. Some people are close to one type but – according to Jung – most people are between types. Research suggests Jung is correct, and your personality may be between two types. Your closest type is INTP and the second closest is INFP. There is some of both these in you, what matters is the degree of balance you prefer between them.

If your personality type is INTP then you have a strong sense of the hidden principles that govern how the world works. You are interested in theoretical models and explanations, and when other people put forward their own theories you put them to the test to find out how true or robust they are. You enjoy solving difficult intellectual problems and seek to understand the real truth behind any situation, even when it involves several complex factors.

If your personality type is INFP then you have some deeply-held values, though there are probably very few people, if any, who know what those values actually are. Privately, you may be a people-person, but others may not recognise it as you show your feelings in indirect, imaginative ways rather than in more conventional expressions of care. You may be looking forward to the realisation of some personal ideals.”

(ps. The above couldn’t be more right.)

Continued…

“Introverted Feeling

Giving worth or value to ideas and information.

When people use introverted Feeling, they tend to give importance to particular thoughts, ideas, or beliefs. They are value driven, and in a team discussion they often bring a sense of priority that is derived from their strong convictions. They seize upon and emphasise ideas or thoughts that have the greatest import, bringing them to the fore and stressing their significance. They assess the inherent value or importance of new ideas, focusing on those about which they feel most strongly.”

“Introverted Thinking

Making connections between ideas and information.

When people use introverted Thinking, they tend to provide explanation of how and why things happen. They bring structure and organisation into the inner world of ideas and understanding. They analyse things, formulating hypotheses and explanations of how they function, and gather evidence to assess how true those explanations are. They produce mental models that replicate how particular aspects of the world works, and they try to understand the full complexity of any situation.”

“Introverted Intuition

Paying attention to possibilities in ideas and information.

When people use introverted Intuition, they tend to use their imagination to create new and different ideas and perspectives. They observe their own thought carefully, or the world around them, then use their imaginations to consider what they have observed from a number of different perspectives, and dream up new ideas and insights. Innovators often produce radical solutions to problems, develop long-term vision and demonstrate an apparent understanding of what cannot be clearly known.”

“Introverted Sensation

Paying attention to what is actual in ideas and information.

When people use introverted Sensation, they tend to bring clarity to the inner world of information, ideas and understanding. They listen, ask questions and absorb information, so that in their mind’s eye they can achieve as clear a picture or understanding as is possible. They expand their knowledge and collection of experiences, and also look to the future by envisaging clear goals and clear pathways to achievement of those goals. The focus on clarity also brings greater attention to detail.”

  •  CdP

opening Up vs the Introvert

(ps. this is a long post, I’m just saying, and sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or whatnot)

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A very common thing that I know, besides myself, a lot of introverts tend to do, is whenever something is wrong, whether right the minute or whether an ongoing feeling or emotions, such as being depressed or whatnot, we won’t ever say anything to anyone, most of the time.

In fact, we know 90% of the time the reason behind most of the reasons why we feel the way we feel and why we do certain things, like we “diagnose” our own problems, and we “fix” our own problems in our own way, without wanting or needing help from others to do it for us, in fact we don’t actually like people telling us how to do something or why, or anything of the sort. We rather do it ourselves, no matter how hard it may be. Should we want help or advice, we would then open up to someone, or ask someone, but only so much, enough to ease our pain and maybe give as a better understanding of how to deal with certain things… but not enough to give someone the impression of our whole world.

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But to get to the point, why am I actually talking about not talking to people about our inner self…

Well, I have met a lot of people in my life who are mostly extroverts, and I notice every time, with each of them, each having their own kind of personal issues, but to them it is mandatory needing to talk about it. Like they won’t be shy or feel weird by just jumping the gun, talking about their life and personal things going on… you know, just like that… and I will listen. I love to listen to them. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. I think my inner reaction towards them is like “wow” jaw dropping kind of reaction, but my outer reaction is calm and poker face and I will just listen to what they have to say, because for them it is like getting heavy things off their chest sometimes, with or without them noticing.

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It is very interesting listening to people, and often when I listen, there are so many times when I agree in my head, thinking “I completely understand” “I know” or “I feel the same” etc etc… so many times, that I can relate in emotions or even relate in actions, but I will never actually say so, because I never really want to explain why I understand or why I feel the way they just described. Maybe here and there I will nod my head and say “Yeah” in agreement or say something of the sort, but not enough in such a way to make it end in a story…

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I just like to listen, and I will think to myself “I will never be able to do this” just out of the blue, you know… Like I really need to get to know you on a different level, to be able to feel comfortable to speak out of my own about things of my life…

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Like don’t get me wrong, I am not completely silent. I have things to say, I have opinions and I will raise my voice in times of need, and if I actually do feel comfortable around you, I don’t mind talking, or talking about all sorts of open minded stuff or life or about people, etc etc… But still I will have my boundaries until we are on the next level, so to say…

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But like, if we do vibe, then by all means we can have the best kinds of conversations on earth. Like if I vibe with you, get ready for a roller coaster ride lol.

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I am one of those people, if I vibe with you, then I want to talk about everything regarding everything in this freaking universe…

Anyway back to the point… Opening up for introverts is kind of something hard to do to begin with, even if we do vibe with you on a different level, and we talk about life and death and all things in the universe, it doesn’t make us instantly want to talk about our personal issues… BUT the fact is, when you vibe with someone, that person most likely feel the way you feel, and they will not force you to talk about the things you don’t want to, as they feel the same way… If either one feels comfortable enough talking about things that are buried deep inside of their soul, then they will… I am an honest person when it comes to conversations, very honest, so even though I might not feel like speaking about myself, I won’t mind to ask the other personal things about themselves, but only when I feel at the moment that it is the right time to ask… If they don’t want to answer or talk about it, then so be it… I won’t force them to give me an answer or explanation, until they feel comfortable doing so… We introverts think twice when doing or saying something, and we understand if someone does not want to talk about something…

Thus why I am so awestruck sometimes when extroverts tend to blurt things out. Like it is incredible… It’s like the kind of reactions people get when I am brutally honest hahaha, sometimes I have a dry sense of humour, very sarcastic and maybe a little evil, but hey at least I am honest, right?

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Sometimes you get those people who don’t really care about who you are, or what you have to say… but they are just more nosy than actually caring… So don’t get fooled by people asking you questions about yourself and your life right away… They don’t care about what you feel, they only care to exploit you and use you and embarrass you…

But when it is the right kind of people… by all means, come at me…

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Let’s see where this goes, let’s see how good you are, let’s see if you can draw me out… Those are the best kinds of conversations, only with the right mind and right people…

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You can never have an open minded conversation with a closed minded person, as they will never be able to think what you think or understand what you understand.

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But… to be honest… The above is all nice, when you can open up to people who you vibe with…

But the hardest thing to get by, is trusting someone enough to let them in.

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Because if you had bad experience trusting people, then it gets harder and harder each time, and you end up being rock solid, all chained up, not allowing anyone to come near enough to break through those chains and see what it is you have to reveal. Unfortunately, for us introverts, it is the reason why struggling to open up, is one of our most common traits… We don’t simply meet new people and jump right in talking about our own life and personal stuff, like extroverts are able to do most of the time.

Imagine going to a shrink… Would you feel comfortable talking to them about anything or everything right off the bat?

Would you instantly jump in talking about your issues and why you are who you are and why you do what you do and why you feel what you feel, without holding back ANYTHING?

No my friend, there is no way in hell that I would trust even a shrink who are legally bound by law to keep everything to themselves… Because to me, it is not simply talking about it, to make me feel better, to me it is much more than that, it is my entire life, my personality, the deepest ends of my soul, it is my reasoning of life, my meaning of living, it is my everything… How am I supposed to just talk about all of what make me, ME, right off the bat? I don’t even think I will know where to start to begin with, without IT having to ask me questions… Should IT ask anything, the answer will never be plain and simple or short, it will be endless and it will need so many explanations to make entirely sure IT knows EXACTLY what I mean, what I am talking about… But I don’t want to sit there looking at a shrink and thinking to myself that this person will judge me silently, while I am talking about the darkest times of my life? God NO.

(and at the same time they will charge me a shit load of money)

That is where extroverts have the guts to talk about EVERYTHING right off the bat, and that is where I draw the line. I will never be able to do that… I will expect the shrink to tell me exactly what IT is thinking, and not give me advice “medically”… I would rather want to know more about the shrink, than IT knows about me… Like how am I supposed to talk about myself to someone not talking to me about themselves? I freak out just thinking about it… Hahaha I can’t, I just can’t… I will burn up from being curious as to what they are thinking constantly, what kind of life they are living, what kind of person they are out of the “Office”, those kinds of things… I would rather analyze them, than have them analyze me… You know…

(Hahaha here I am talking about a Shrink and revering to IT, although I have done a short course in Psychology myself)

Anyway, that is the point of trust. Even though anyone say you can trust them, even if a shrink says you can trust them, and tell you to feel comfortable around them, how the hell do they expect you to do it to begin with? How do you for sure know you can trust anyone?

You don’t… That’s just it.

Random: You know the series, Lucifer, I will kinda like to see a shrink like the one in Lucifer. Haha because I like her personality…

But you see my point right? No matter the situation or the person, for introverts it takes time to open up, we don’t just talk, we don’t just trust, and we don’t just feel comfortable instantly. We keep at ourselves, because for us opening up is hard to do, explaining is hard to do, and it is just easier not to do so. So we don’t. When we start to explain, we expect you to listen clearly, with attention, with understanding and we expect you to have the time. Because once we open up to someone, we chose them as someone we feel comfortable with, which is a hard thing for us to do.

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You don’t ever let someone down, if they chose you as someone they can trust enough to talk about things that are important to them. Because opening up is not simple, it is opening up your heart, your mind and soul.

It breaks my heart, when you open up to someone about everything in your life, and they turn around and betray you without a second thought. Those kinds of people will never understand that kind of pain they caused you.

  • CdP

speaking Up vs the Introvert

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People seem to have a misconception (a view or opinion that is incorrect because based on faulty thinking or understanding) about introverts speaking up or speaking their mind. For some reason, people have the idea that we are not capable of doing so in person, or they think we don’t have the guts, or we are scared or shy, or whatever else excuses they can think of. All of which is totally absurd. We do talk.

We are just as much capable of speaking up, as anyone else. Yes, often we observe instead and we do not especially like to talk at some point or stick our noses in other’s affairs. But when we see fit it is time for us to speak up about something important, or speak our mind, then we do so and we do so accurately with well enough proof and confidence to not make a fool out of ourselves, as well as be convincing by stating the actual facts.

There is a right time and place to speak up, we simply do not open our mouths and unrealistic words come falling out like an idiot. Leave that for the many idiots wasting our air.

When we speak up or speak our mind, we speak truthfully, as well as have our own opinions. Whether you like it or not, is up to you. But don’t get us wrong, we do not force anyone to “abide by our ways”, actually we don’t really care either, as long as we say our say and the other party can be honest and mature in return.

There is a difference between honesty, and your way of trying to lie confidently and thinking no one will notice. That is the biggest mistake anyone can make near an introvert, near an observer.

We are simply saying what we know, and what we think. When we feel ready to speak up, then we do. When it is needed to speak up, then we do. We have reasons, we do not make choices on a whim, we think it over. That’s if we do have a choice at all.

Plainly thinking that we can’t speak up for anyone or ourselves, or maybe other matters at hand, means that you’re naive for easily jumping to a conclusion so stupidly.

There are a lot of “bullies” and “loud mouths” who think they have the benefit of the doubt above people who are usually withdrawn from society, or social events. Whether in school or adults at work, in public or other events. You are ultimately wrong, for one day you will realize that, that person knows more than they speak, therefore you do not know what they are truly capable of, and to mess with them, means someway along the line… life will come back at you hard, because you were naive enough to think that some people can’t defend themselves.

We are not stupid, defenseless, useless or whatever people want us to believe we are. We are more than them, and we will always be one step ahead.

Silence is golden.

By the time we actually do speak up, remember that when you trip and fall on your back. We will not pick you up, because it is your own fault for underestimating us.

  • CdP

 

the Breakdown vs the Introvert

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When an introvert finally breaks down. It is not simply sobbing in a dark corner like an emo.

Sitting in a “corner” or wherever you end up being, sobbing, does not mean a breakdown. Unless the crying gets hysterical, then a breaking point has been reached.

To us sobbing means we are still being strong enough to hold ourselves together in order not to break down. Crying is the best we can do for ourselves, but there are times it is too hard to cry at all and instead you end up feeling emotionless. Which is also a point of breaking.

See introverts are not talkers when it involves problems and feelings or anything unsettling regarding their personal / private life. We are not the easy going type that feel like we can talk about our shit freely to just anyone.

Our silence speak the most, our smile say the least and our eyes reflect our soul.

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We are observers more than we are casual talkers. That does not mean we do not talk about our shit at all, but we do not simply vent out all our feelings every day to any stranger who we might come in contact with.

We smile and do what we need to, to get through the day, with a fake laugh or two if so be. That’s that. If people talk casually, and we are obligated to reply, then we do so politely. But in the meantime, some people like to instantly talk about their problems, even if they just met you.

I will never publicly talk to a complete stranger about my personal life out of the blue. I mean I don’t even talk to most people in my life about private stuff. I’m positive that no introvert will do so either. I really don’t mean nitty gritty shit, small talk. I mean private as in it really has nothing to do with anyone.

As an introvert, I somewhat get very irritated with people who does that. Who start talking about their personal issues, their private life and all their sorrows. They don’t know me. They might as well go talk to someone by the road. Honestly sometimes I just don’t care about it. I’m not particularly rude, by not listening, but inside me at that moment I feel like some people do not consider the feelings of other people. Before you start talking, try thinking for yourself if you’re the only person in this world experiencing hardship. You just don’t talk about personal issues out of the blue and expect sympathy from a complete stranger.

I understand that some people need more attention than others, unlike an introvert who do not want to attract that kind of attention to themselves.

But some people indeed does want that kind of attention. They constantly want someone to agree and sympathise with them. I know a few of those. But luckily people have such a thing as personality, so everyone has their own set of “manners” I guess. You get those that keep to themselves and know it is not right to publicly talk about their shit. As well as some who can get to a point so low as publicly seeking attention from well… everyone.

But anyway, unlike those people who seem to feel sorry for themselves when they have no one around, because they have no one to vent at, we introverts on the other hand will keep it to ourselves up to a point where we feel like we are losing our mind. This is the peak of our breaking point.

Why?… Well we have this kind of barrier around us, constantly on high alert, making sure nothing gets out and nothing gets in. With this struggle going on, constantly on defence, our wall gets bruised and it can take a few very hard blows for it to eventually break down.

As we try to keep it up, but it starts to crumble, it takes something very small that finally set us off and we will let go. Our wall will break. When that happens, we sure as hell have a breakdown for good.

We feel uneasy, our mind confused, our thoughts going mad and there are just too many shity emotions and feelings escaping all at once. Our chest pain and we feel short of breath. It feels like we need to hold onto ourselves, in order to ground us and not lose all control. Not to do anything stupid. Sometimes we feel like we want to destroy whatever we can get our hands on, but at the same time we don’t. We feel like we don’t care about anything anymore, but at the same time we do.

When our head feel overwhelmed with all the things we thought we compressed, but suddenly runs wild. We want to scream loudly, very loudly, to get it all out. All the pain, all the demons, all the heaviness. Like it will somehow all go away.

Sometimes when we reach breaking points, even self-harm becomes a very pleasant, and vivid thought.

We do whatever brings the most relief of pain.

However extreme it might be, in the end everyone has their own way of relieving pain.

A breakdown for us is overwhelming and complicated. We don’t simply go hit a wall or door until our knuckles bleed, or break shit and throw shit (maybe a pillow, ’tis soft and not dangerous, and we can scream into it) or whatever and then we’re done. That’s more extrovert type, especially the guys.

Introverts don’t usually have such a short temper. That is not our problem or our trigger to a breaking point. We are not the type to need anger management.

But sometimes we do need support, although we usually do not always admit it. Even a hug sometimes, a shoulder, even if we don’t necessarily feel like crying. Understanding sometimes, even if we say nothing. We don’t need anyone to fix our problems and we are not asking anyone to fix it for us. We take care of it on our own for as long as we have to. Don’t try to do it for us, it will make it even worse. Don’t try to tell us what decisions to make, but don’t lie about your honest opinion either… Just understand and support us. We will come to you if we really need help in the end or someone to talk to.

But when we do talk, whether about something small or something serious, we expect you to listen to us as we listen to you. When we talk, we talk to people especially close to us. If you let us down, we end up feeling lonely, as we only have a limited amount of people we trust.

Once that, or a, “chosen” person let us down and show us they actually don’t care, they contribute to the hits our wall take and the bruises it leave behind.

Why? Because the support we wanted, that holds our walls, let us down. It become harder and harder for us to open up, every time we get let down. Thus causing our “defence system”.

Oh yeah and I just want to add that one of the worst things that irritate the hell out of me, is when someone can’t read the air. If we don’t feel like talking, leave us, because we will eventually talk if need be. Don’t nag at us. We are sensitive creatures. Don’t make crappy jokes that intentionally hurt our feelings, because you are too dense to figure out that not everything in life is a joke for us as it is for you. We are not humoured by your jokes, when it is irrelevant. Joking about things that actually mean something to us, is the worst. Personally I hate it and when people do that to me it feels like they are intentionally trying to hurt me and bring me down. Fuck you.

Anyway, to some people a lot of this post might not make sense at all, and to some it will totally make sense. Whether you’re introvert or extrovert, everyone have some kind of extreme breakdown, everyone has a let out. Whether talking to everyone, or just a few, or one person. Whether hitting a wall and get it over with, or maybe something else.
It’s not the same each time and it is not the same for everyone.

We introverts are mostly alone when we feel like we reached a breaking point. So we break down. We go through with it, and it will end eventually and no one will know about it… No one finds out either.

But sometimes there happen to be someone who triggered that last bit of sanity you held onto, and unfortunately for them, they will have to deal with the outcome, but that’s okay. Because we won’t just break down in front of just anyone. Sometimes it’s okay to break down with someone around, I guess. But during this point of break down, we practically just explain that we are simply just exhausted emotionally, even though it is always much more than that and emotionally exhausted also means physically exhausted and it feels like our soul has been drained. We are mentally, emotionally and physically drained.

When someone is around at the moment of a break down, we struggle to talk correctly because our head is just going mad, so we say everything that comes up in defence, mutter random things that’s wrong in a confusing manner, but we never manage to point out what’s actually going on in our mind, just because it’s too scrambled up and we are simply too unstable at that moment to think straight. In the end you stop talking, you stop freaking out, try to gather your sanity again and you apologise, as you feel sorry for the person who you put on the spot. You go back to acting normal, saying you’re fine now… Because you want to avoid talking any further, and you have just no way of explaining correctly what is actually wrong or putting emotions into words. Because it is never just one thing, but a thousand. Imagine that every drop of water in an average sized swimming pool is a thought, emotion and / or feeling, and all that water is somehow escaping the walls of the swimming pool. That is how it feels. How do you gather all of those drops without losing your shit?

The next day, you try to forget about it, move on, act fine and completely evade any kind of small talk that might lead to talking about “that” break down. We don’t want to talk about it anymore, we had it, and it was bad enough. Talking about it make us feel uncomfortable. We sort it out in our head, silently, as it is easier to do so than to talk about it.

But the truth is… Breaking down doesn’t mean suddenly everything is all good now, it means we have to gather our sanity, all our escaped emotions and thoughts, deal with the emotional and physical pain, stress and strain… Thus we have to gather all the building blocks of our wall and miserably start building our wall all over again to protect ourselves constantly from a cruel world, from people who try to selfishly break us down in order to make themselves feel better about themselves and their faults in life, from negativity trying to impose on us, from hate trying to overcome our life, etc etc… Demons.

Just because we build a barrier for protection, does not mean we do not hurt or can not be hurt. We, as anyone, can just as well be as naive as the next person. Everyone has a weak point and some people know better than others how to pressure your weakness and break you and use you and manipulate you until you have no more will to stand on your own, and have no more strength to keep up your wall.

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Let me remind you that once you let the wrong people through your wall, it is the most painful experience you will ever have, because we are most vulnerable from the inside. Getting rid of the demons from the inside is harder than fighting to keep them out. Introverts get hurt the most from those we let through. It all depends on those who breach our wall, because some conquer our wall with love and some with hate, some for good intentions and some for bad intentions.

Life happens to throw you some shit in many different ways. Sometimes we fall, sometimes we don’t. If we do, we get up stronger and start again and learn from our past. Sometimes people get in our way, because they are a lesson. Sometimes they are the way. In any case, there will always be ups and downs in life and we all have our ways of dealing with whatever comes our way.

But the next time you think about why you are hurt, because you let it happen and now you want everyone to feel sorry for your sorrowful life, try to remember the fact that you share life with thousands of other people who also have their own shit to deal with. Stop being inconsiderate of other people’s feelings.

  • CdP

the Public vs the Introvert

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I hate being in public, especially when I am forced. ‘Tis the enemy of every Introvert.

When you have an obligation, such as work, to be somewhere in public. You have no choice but to obey, because work do not know the soul of an Introvert.

So here I sit, not even in my town… In PE, at a Coffee Shop (okay the Coffee & Cream is good I suppose), but I don’t want to be here because the reason I’m here doesn’t excite me in the slightest.

It is totally different if you decide to go out on your own or with a friend or two, but going out by force makes me so damn irritated… Not just that, but I’ll have to sit here for hours listening to some unimportant shit that does not comply to my life at all. Even worse the fact that I had plans for the day after work, thus if I was at work right now, then my time would have been right.

So now my day is turn upside down as I am obligated to fall in with the time of this seminar meeting whatever. I could have slept in an extra hour, but I had to wake up for this instead. It is already an hours drive from and to JBay to PE. So wanting to be home at 1pm stat, has just gone down the drain…

Do you see why introverts don’t like being dragged around? We have our own routines and “itinerary”. We have it all worked out in our head, even if everyone else thinks we are doing nothing… You’re wrong. We are doing something that satisfy our souls.

Sitting in public, “suddenly”, without planning for it to begin with makes us extremely uncomfortable. It’s like we need to scrape up our “prepareness” from the ground, as we are not wearing that kind of “confidence” on a daily basis. Well not exactly so much as confidence, but more the fact of “not in the mood for people around us”… We need to gather it…

Let me tell you, I’m so tired of people, I feel like locking myself up in a room. Being around a lot of people and being in public a lot really does get tiring for Introverts.

We need to like recharge you now… I want to go hibernate, all these people are too socially active…

It’s like going to the mall, oh my word. I hate it. It’s like people are used to absolutely nothing, they always look at me as if I am out of place or something. Probably because I do feel out of place. I only go to the mall or shops if I really need to. I’m in and I’m out. I don’t hover around, speaking of hover… The people like to hover over each other. Imagine standing in a row waiting… And some idiot behind you is hovering over you, I HATE that!! Gross, just get out of my personal space, right? I hate it when people get too close to my personal space. Just back off!

Speaking of, same shit with this seminar meeting whatever thing… Will have to sit in a smallish room, sit quietly in rows with other complete strangers… I have to take all of that in today… Close quarters…

Weird people, talkative people, irritating people… Just don’t talk to me.

– Cdp

what’s Wrong vs the Introvert

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I can imagine that most introverts are not morning people.

Well frankly I do not get or understand anyone who can just wake up in the morning and be all kinds of talkative and chirpy. I mean shut the hell up and give me my coffee first!

well any, that is not the point I was trying to make with the subject of this post, but it has something to do with it somehow.

Why? well because I hate it when I am quiet and someone asks “What’s Wrong?”, especially when I make it very clear that nothing is in fact wrong, only that I like being silent sometimes, especially in the mornings.

What upsets me is, when being asked repeatedly if something is wrong, when there is not.

I mean there does not always have to be something wrong with a person when they are silent.

Introverts in fact love being silent. Yes, even when something is wrong we will be silent. It is who we are, and that is that. Deal with it.

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When something is not wrong, we still like being silent. We collect the stranded pieces of thoughts in our heads, or we are in dreamland either still from waking up just now or daydreaming / fantasizing (especially if you’re a Pisces), or we are just SILENT. No Big Deal about THAT!

We are silent people who would rather just observe and listen, than chat about mindless things. We take in more than we show.

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Extroverts will just talk and talk and talk. If something is wrong, they have to talk to get it out as well as feel better and need someone to either give them advice or agree with what they are saying. If nothing is wrong, they still cannot be quiet, they will still keep on talking.

Not that I am trying to offend any extroverts, I mean, my Mom and Brother is an Extrovert. As well as my BF’s Mom and her husband. They all talk a lot, and sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming…

But just like Extroverts can’t help being talkative, we Introverts can’t help being silent.

‘Tis who we are. But I will not ask you, “Why are you talking so much?” or “Is something wrong ’cause you talking a hell of a lot!” nor would I stop someone from packing off their emotions. I might think all of the above yes, but I won’t come right out and ask/say it. ‘Tis rude.

So for heavens sake, if you ask someone why they are quiet, and they tell you “just because” or that they are just a quiet person or whatever the reason, just please leave them be!

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An introvert will let you know if they want to talk to you or if they want to let out emotions, or if they feel comfortable talking at whichever moment, then they will! Whether or not something is wrong with them or not! Even though most of the time there is in fact nothing wrong. Again we like to be quiet. But otherwise do not ask us about being quiet and do not ask repeatedly why we are quiet. We are not you, and you are not us. Just accept it.

Quiet is our thing.

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Confidence vs Introvert

Right… So to start this out as usual, being an Introvert does not mean an Introvert has set of rules on how to be an Introvert. Being an Introvert does not automatically make you have less to no confidence at all. Confidence is something we can or might develop from childhood and something we can gain in our life as we grow older. It is something we want to have, it does not always just happen instantly, as in confidence does not always just come automatically to everyone, I’ll say especially to Introverts. It is something we can work on individually to better ourselves as a person if we want to.

Oh but Trust Me, Introverts have a whole lot of confidence when we have private conversations with ourselves in our own little world. In our private happy place. 😀 Haha anyway…

Confidence can be achieved at any time in our lives, but for some people it is harder to achieve than others. Extroverts might have a ton of confidence and you will see it flow right out of them. I mean for any true Introvert you will be able to feel the vibe of a person’s confidence miles away, and it will even make you go “ugh” sometimes.

Remember not to confuse confidence and arrogance though.

You get two kinds of people in this world:

1.) the Arrogant, the one with the Ego, thinking it’s good and above everybody else.

2.) the Confident, the one with the Knowledge, knowing their facts and where they stand.

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Anyway, whereas some Introverts might have a lot or little to none, whichever quantity of confidence they might have, it does not give them the reason to be a communicator or make them want to do certain stuff or go out and do everything that require human contact.

There are tons of ways to manage the confidence you have and ways to show it when you are an Introvert. See for an Extrovert they can be confident in every situation they are in, surrounded by any amount of people, they don’t mind. They will glow like a firefly in the night. I knew this guy in school. Short and cute, with the confidence of a Lion. He really knew how to talk to people, was always nice, and knows how to make something good of every situation and make a spark in his environment. Today it seems he is a teacher, go figure.

I also know this other guy who was a year behind me. I hated him for the first moment he opened his arrogant little mouth. I just want to kick him in the face, till this day. He cannot talk with respect and he only talks to the people he think is good enough to talk to. He does not know how to reply in a polite way and he thinks he is above all and the best looking person on the planet. He does not remember a single person, unless he approves of you. God his personality is ugly, along with his face. But I’m pretty damn sure he gets it all from his Mother. One and the same. Thank Goddess the younger sisters aren’t all that bad. But they look up to their brother, I just hope they don’t literally walk in his footsteps.

Anyway… Confidence can mean something totally different for an Introvert. It all just depends on our personality, our lifestyle, our surroundings and our environment.

I know of Introverts who have a lot of confidence and who are great at handling it around people, when it is in a place where they feel comfortable in. Such as the kind of work they do. Put an Introvert in a place where they feel comfortable, they will feel confident and they will excell in what they do. Put them in a place where they feel scared, well they are the ones nearest to the exit getting ready to make a run for it.

Being an Introvert does not mean we do not want to do certain things though, or do not want to build or have confidence at all. All of us in a way want some kind of confidence one way or the other. Sometimes we strive to have the confidence that an extrovert has, but it is just not who we are. We can try, but at the end of the day it affects us and tire us to be who we aren’t suppose to be, to be someone who we are not happy to be. In the end, we like to be in our little shell.

Confidence and Me: My Main idea was to start Youtubing, and I have undoubtedly manage to record a few videos of myself talking with confidence. The first video though I couldn’t even look at the camera, every single time I would end up blushing (at myself for heaven’s sake) and I will start to giggle. I never watched the video until months later, and I wasn’t all that bad as I thought… So as I got used to the idea of it, thinking that I am talking to a thing and not a human, I started to open up and I started with a simple introduction. About who I am, where I’m from, why I want to start Youtubing. My reason was, because it is a great way to gain confidence without actually directly communicating with a human. Confidence in myself, not confidence to communicate. Communication is not a problem, it is not a problem for an introvert in general. We just don’t like it all that much, ’tis the problem. But taking communication to a whole nother level whether it is having a blog, or a youtube channel, gaming online or whatnot… now that is something we can do. Something that is indirect communication, something we can have fun doing and feel comfortable with.

Youtubing is a great idea. But here’s my problem, I struggle to be bubbly and all smiley face the whole time. Introverts, they smile when is needed. Fake smiles and emotions just makes us depressed and basically it’s a waste of precious time and effort if we do not feel like showing any emotion. Although it does not necessarily mean we are upset or anything like that. We are just in a calm, “hibernated”, state. 😀

So while wanting to do the videos, the one day I would smile and be cheerful and stuff, then the next day I just don’t feel like cracking a smile at all, so what’s the use I want to upload a video like that? Who would want to see an Introvert talk about Introverts? While not even smiling once. Being all serious and stuff. I am still considering doing the Youtubing thing, but first I have to work on my talking skills just a little bit more. Also shooting a video when I am in a cheerful mood and not in a slump. I also need to work on the topics I want to talk about, to focus on staying on the actual topic, because I will start with a recording talking about whatever I chose to talk about and then the next thing you know I jumped the topic to a whole nother level. You know. It’s very confusing. People don’t like listening or watching confusing things, and the longer the video gets, the harder it gets for people to concentrate. For both Introvert and Extrovert. So videos should be short, sweet and sensible videos.

In general I feel more confident writing about what goes on inside of me than talking about various fun and philosophical topics on youtube, but I still want to, eventually. Sometimes I have a lot to say, and doing a video seems sensible. But I need to choose my topics wisely and keep with it and try not to get off topic as usual. I’m sure it is still a great way to gain self-confidence.

My confidence in public sucks. I hate going shopping alone, I hate it when people stare at me, I hate it when people get too close to me or bump into me in a que, I hate when people stands behind me to look over my shoulder, I even hate stopping for petrol, everything that requires human interaction just freaks me out. I simply don’t like it, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. But, just because I don’t like all of that and I don’t feel comfortable with all of it, does not mean I can’t handle it if I have to, but still I don’t like it. Handling it is a different thing if I have to, but hell it does exhaust my spirit. It’s like sucking the soul out of my body. X_x

Going out for in Introvert is like letting your domesticated pet out in the woods and it would die because it wouldn’t know what to do or how to live and anything would scare the crap out of it because it is in an unfamiliar environment.

I also hate it if a human stands too near to me when they talk, or even if they touch me. Don’t touch me on the shoulder thinking it would make me comfortable talking to you. You’re wrong. It does not work like that with everyone. Also don’t pop my bubble with your face practically an inch away from mine. Don’t come closer when I move backwards. Don’t sit too tight to me, if I don’t know you. Stuff like that. I hate that. Like just keep your body to yourself, no touchy the Introvert. 😐

My confidence at work is fine. I would rather email though, than make a call. I hate phone calls, but in general, not just work related. I will help the clients that come in to an extent from what I know and I will feel comfortable in doing so because it is in my line of interests. But put me next door and tell me to sell fashion, I will stand around awkwardly feeling the need to cry and run away because I don’t like it, I don’t care for it, I don’t want to help people pick stuff to wear, I don’t want to talk about fashion to them, I don’t want to look at them and honestly I don’t want to be around them at all. There’s just a huge difference between those people, and the people who seek IT advice or services. Anyway, I am a plane jane, leave me be. Introverts are not all that caught up in flashy things. Introverts do not like the spotlight in reality. We shop when is needed, buy things if needed, but we do not flash or show off or freak out about the latest fashion. Introverts do not flaunt themselves in public. They will only do so for people close to them and be pretty or nice looking and neat for certain reasons, but that is as far as it goes. Plane. What’s wrong with that? Nothing. Just accept it, accept us. Accept the Introvert.

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the Introvert

Post 1: First Post Obviously.

We like stating the obvious, yes. Because idiots…

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If you already read my About page, you will have an idea why I decided on creating this blog. If you have not yet read my About page. Do it! Just Do It! I’m kidding. If you feel it’s too much to read, then reading probably isn’t for you.

So like I mentioned in my About page, there are a lot of things I can go on and on talking about regarding the Introvert.

Being someone who is fascinated by humans, who they are and why, I like writing or thinking about these kinds of things and also personally having a hard time in life around people who do not always quite understand me, me the Introvert, I want to put it out there for others to read and understand the Introvert. Not just me, but all Introverts and their day to day life of being an Introvert and to be proud of being who you are, no matter if people do not get you. Being an Introvert can be tough when you are surrounded by a lot of extroverts, especially if you are still in school and most teens tend to be outgoing. You feel pressured to act as if you are an extrovert, when in your heart, mind and soul and in all honesty, you know you are not. Even when you are long done with school. In life also you feel pressured to be someone you are not. In some situations you are forced to change your inner self, your personality and all that. So yeah, I want to elaborate on the whole being an Introvert thing. 🙂

What I meant by being fascinated by humans, I meant Mentally, Physically, Emotionally… Every “…ally” there possibly is. As in the whole Psychology of being a human.

Why? Well just because humans are interesting and I would have loved being a dictator. So I can have authority and behead all idiots and people who are a waste of space on this planet.

Well anyway, that is it for the first post.

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